An introduction to the BIG C, little c and everything in between
(Gives you all a little wave!)
I think the best place to start is at the beginning... Let me introduce myself and open up my world to you in the hope that I might make a difference to what could be a hard, dark day for you.
My name is Victoria. I am 34 years old. A brunette on a mission in the gym atm as some of you will see if you follow my social media. I'm on the treadmill writing this!
I am a dancer, I've danced since I was 6 years old which is now 28 years (that still shocks me when I realise how long it's actually been). Through dance and performing I have built a career, travelled all over the world and met some of my closest friends along the way.
I am a Daughter to Ray and Julie, a Sister to Rob, a Granddaughter to Dorothy, and a cool Auntie that teaches all the fun stuff about life like blowing bubbles in milk, to Chloe and Kai.
I am Fiancé to James - my absolute rock who I marry in less than 600 days - I will talk more about him, us and my two furry babies Presley and Dexter soon.
I am the Entertainment and Events Director for Pastiche Europe - not just a job... It's a way of life - I work all day and when I say all day - it's been known to hit 22 hours at times! I rarely take a day off BUT I'm grateful every day to do something I love and as the saying goes; it's not really work when you love it so much.
I am probably one of the softest people you would meet! I mean this in the sense of helping others and loving to see them smile. I will go out of my way to make someone happy. I have a little motto I live by;
if you have the ability to help, you should do it, so I do and I do it often.
Soppy films make me cry... even happy ones do! I cry at X factor when someone reaches their dream for god sake! I cried when Ross kissed Rachel for the first time and when Monica couldn't find the words to ask Chandler to marry him - even the happy times have me in floods of tears! (Yes I am a huge Friends fan too!).
It's a nice quality to have I guess, but it’s not a great thing to do when you're in public, especially with my ugly cry face!
I adore my friends - I see them all as my family. We've shared so many funny times and made one another stronger. We've been there for each other through good times and bad and especially over the last two years, they have helped me through some really dark times.
As a person, I'm intensely passionate and love with every part of me, I'm hardworking, I'm Loyal, I'm honest... I'm a perfectionist which is great at times but annoys a lot of people too when something’s not how I want it. It's a quality that has got me a good reputation in a world where there are a lot of competitors. As I always say, it's all about the detail!
I'm probably one of the most determined people you will meet. If i have an idea in my head or set my eyes on something, I will do all I can to get there. By no means do I let this affect others... I simply get my head down and work my ass off until I reach that goal... In work, in love and in life. My parents taught me well...
If you want something Tor, you have to work your hardest to achieve it. No one is going to do it for you I remember my Mum telling me this.
As I write this next sentence, I can feel a wave of emotions coming over me and a huge lump in my throat.... Sadness, fear, loneliness, anxiety, even happiness and a million more emotions embody me right now and my eyes fill with tears, as I tell you all... I am a Cancer survivor.
I've been thinking about writing this blog for almost a year now. Going back and forth with
is it a good idea?
What will people think?
Can I do it justice and help others that might need it?
I've come to the conclusion that Yes it's a good idea, I need to stop worrying about what people think and if there's even a small chance of helping someone, whether that's before or after being diagnosed, I'm going to grab it with both hands and do what i can.
So, this blog is to take you on my journey.... What happened, how I felt, the good days and the bad? How I kept positive and stayed focused on my end goal.
I will let you into my life. I will be completely honest and go through every emotion with you as I know that's what I wanted to hear. I wanted to know why? How? What? When?
You will learn about my best friend... My fairy godmother, Jenah who is... I can't even find a word with enough magnitude to tell you how much I love her and how grateful I am to her... She has offered to be our surrogate and is making my dreams of motherhood a possible reality when Cancer took this hope away.
I will take you to hospital appointments... You will hear of days when I thought it was all over... Then the days I gave my head a wobble and realised how lucky I was.
You will learn about all that matters to me most.
I'm not doing this for sympathy... There is no reason to feel sorry for me... I have my happy ending... it's just a little different to what I thought it would be BUT I can say I've kicked Cancers big hairy bum and will continue to keep kicking for as long as I need to - high showgirl kicks!
I'm doing this because I remember how it felt to hear those words;
We are sorry Miss Eames but we've found Cancer The pain I felt when my surgeon said
You need a radical hysterectomy for any chance of survival and knowing what it meant.
How my heart ripped open as I looked across at James and felt like I had let him down.
I remember how hard it was to tell my parents. Walking into the home I grew up in, facing two people I love the most in the entire world and telling them I had Cancer, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I remember the feeling of waking up that night and thinking
it's ok, it's just a dream... Walking across the landing to the loo and then stopping dead in my tracks and realising it was in fact my reality and crying myself to sleep being held tight by Jay.
Then I remember thinking
No ... I'm not done yet! I've got way too much I want to achieve ... Too many memories to make and too many people to love to let Cancer get in the way! I remember a good friend, Paul Bailey Hague saying to me right at the start of my journey;
Cancer doesn't know who it's messing with and he was right - I pressed that button labelled
Determination and off I went on my journey!
For those reasons I am sharing my story.